Archives for March 2017

What scares you silly?

It was early in the morning, much like any other weekday. I was snug in my bed, warm and cozy. My husband and dog asleep beside me. The room peaceful and quiet with only their soft snores, a comforting presence in the waking day.

But then I woke with a start. A waking dream that certainly got my attention — there in my dream was a big spider. Surprisingly, it didn’t scare the bejesus out of me.

I used to be afraid of lots of things. Roller coasters — even little ones in the kiddie area of the fair. Ferris wheels — don’t rock the bucket unless you want me to climb on top of you. The boogey man under the bed — yes, even as an adult, I would rush out of bed honestly fearful of someone under it.

At least I’m not alone with my biggest fear — spiders. They scare the crap out of me. Even a photo of them will send chills down my spine and make me shiver. (I guarantee I won’t put a photo of one here!)

Arachnophobia – The fear of spiders affects women four times more than men (48% women and 12% men) and is the #1 phobia on the top 100 list.

I would have thought the fear of death (#12) or public speaking (#13) would have beat out spiders but apparently not. Even my fear of clowns is #88 on the list. They simply freak me out. Reading Stephen King’s book IT definitely sealed the deal on my dislike of them. Not a fan of the Jack-in-the-Box clown either — supposedly so friendly and inviting — NOT!

But, back to my waking dream — in it I saw a woman’s hand holding a small twig and upon the twig (did I say “small”) was the biggest spider I’ve ever laid eyes on. Bigger than a tarantula, but lighter in weight. Not as hairy either. Much more delicate with long, spindly legs.

Evidently, it wasn’t my hand, or in my dreams I am much braver than when I’m awake.

I wasn’t close enough, it seems, to fear it, standing a distance from whoever was holding it. The long skinny legs resting lightly upon her hand seemed innocent enough. That is, until I heard a voice suggest she put it down since this particular spider was one of the most poisonous spiders in Australia.

And, Boom, I was awake. Wide awake. The dream vivid and clear.

I described it to my hubby, wondering what it meant, asking if he had any suggestions on its meaning. I believe dreams have guidance for us, if we but remember them, and learn how to decipher the message.

He said, after some thought, that it made him think of credit card debt … the most poisonous thing in our wallets. He’s heard me say something to this effect over the years as I have counseled clients to release their dependence on it.

Something that he and I had to learn to do as well.

And, by jove, I think he hit on it. The idea resonated to my core and I knew my waking dream was guidance on this area of my work. I was meant to, once again, be an activist, a strong voice, speaking out in a world tied deeply to the use of credit.

The harmless looking, thin plastic card, oh so innocent in appearance was much like the toxic, poisonous spider sitting angelically upon her hand. That is until it bites the hand upon which it sits.

Credit is very much the same. We have come to believe it is harmless, a safe way to buy and have that which we want. We are encouraged in oh so many ways to use it to the fullest.

We have come to rely upon it as if it is our friend.

All seems well, until, that is, it bites.

Are you able to answer the biggest question?

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.”- Wayne Dyer

I love to learn. I love to read. If an idea or topic catches my attention and my gut says, Yes, that one!, I dive in.

My heart races, my soul soars. I’m on fire and ready to soak it in.

Give me the book to read. Tell me what class to take. Who is my teacher? What lesson am I to learn? I’m ready! Let’s go!

That’s how it happens for me and that’s how I ended up in the class, years ago now, which asked the big question —  What is your big why?

Who doesn’t want to know that, I wondered? Wouldn’t it make life so much easier to know the purpose, cause, or belief that inspires you and to wake up every day motivated to do it?

 Sounded pretty darned good to me — sign me up!

The class began with a number of simple, key questions to answer about our childhood. Easy enough to answer. But then, we went deeper.

We were asked to remember something in our lives that was painful or changed us forever — what Dr. Phil calls, A life defining moment!”

We were given ample time to recall and describe it — to write it all down. As we did so, more questions were asked to help us peel away and reveal why this moment or event was so significant.

Why did it stick with us after all these years? What did it tell us about our purpose? How did it drive us in life?

Amazingly enough, these questions led directly to the answer we came to find out — For what purpose was I intended?

And, to this day, I have not forgotten mine — to right wrongs. 

My antennae go up immediately when I sense, feel, or see a wrong. I can hardly contain myself to fix or correct it. I find myself looking for answers to make it right — to solve the issue.

Once I figured out my purpose, it became obvious why I had picked particular careers in my life. Banking. Finance. CPA. Internal Auditor. Financial Counselor. All had some element of structured, well-defined rights and wrongs. Rules to follow. And, a clear line that gave warning when something was wrong.

It helped clarify my path in life and in my business— to honor my purpose in all that I do. To say NO to anything that did not fit it. I have found that I fail if I try to do it another way — or I am miserably unhappy.

It is the biggest question after all — Why are you here? What is your BIG WHY?

It is more important than most of us recognize — our souls know it and yearn for us to live it. In fact, research has shown that Knowing Your Purpose In Life Could Help You Live Longer.  (Forbes Nov. 2014)

Yet, somehow we’ve lost track of why we are here. In all our “busyness”, our focus has gotten narrowed on the aspects of day-to-day life. We grew up and in the process we let go of and forgot why we are here. We believed what we were told — that it was time to be an adult and do grown-up things. Put aside those childish ways.

Sadly, we then left behind the essence of who we are — we bought into the belief that it, too, is childish. We moved on to what we were taught “should” be our purpose, our goal, and life path.

We then end up believing our purpose are the roles we play in life — mother, sister, wife, teacher, employee, manager, healer, coach, writer, artist, business owner, etc. Seldom is it your purpose.

And, there begins the agonizing trek back to finding it once again, revealing it to ourselves, and living fully into it. Many of us go to our deathbeds not ever rekindling that purpose consciously. It plays out in the background of our lives, calling to us, and yet, going unheard.

Isn’t it time you asked the biggest question of all? WHY AM I HERE? I promise, there is an answer. And, it is a personal one just for you. No one else has the same one — only you are here to express it.

It does affect all that you do. It guides you in all decisions and questions you may have. The best career path to take. Whether to marry or not. Am I meant to buy that house or live that lifestyle?

But, be sure to take Wayne Dyer’s advice … your purpose is not to get to a certain place … It’s to enjoy each step along the way.”